Something for Everyone

This one for $925k??

"Something for everyone" according to the realtard of the week. If "something" is a price about 3 times what it should be then yes I suppose it is something for everyone.

19471 Killdeer Ct in Perris is a large home on a large lot in "The Boulders" development up near Lake Mathews. This home is a large single story, 3370 sq.ft, sitting on an acre and a half. The home is nothing special. The cabinets look builder grade, if my eyes don't decieve me, that looks like lino in the kitchen. The bathroom.......well, it has CARPET, need I say more? It does have grass in the back and a small patio but other than that the lanscaping is rather weak. The owner bought this place in jan, 2006 for $634k and after a couple of years he thinks it has increase nearly $300k in value??? WTF dude, have ya read a paper lately, turned on the TV or cruised the net? He just listed for $925k. Man. what a desperate tool the realtor must be to take this listing.

For comparison the nearest comp (identical home) is 18915 Malkoha st. This home at least has a few upgrades. Tile in the bathroom, tile in the kitchen and the appliances look better too. So what, there is no grass in the yard, but it's $537k CHEAPER! This home also sold new in Jan 2006, but it sold for $709k. Must have been the upgrades, this house does look nicer in the pictures. It's an REO now and the asking price for this model match hoome $388k. In addition to this REO there is a short sale at 18774 Malkoha that is the same model home as these two and it is listed for $380k.

Or this for $388K

I screwed up!

Yes, as a matter of fact that is fake grass.

I gave away the award for the Realtard of the month already, then I found this listing.

17362 Woodentree Ln, Riverside is in the Victoria Groves tract. The home is 3198 sq/ft and has 3 bedrooms and 2.75 baths. This home appears to be owned by a realtor. The past sales look kinda fishy. I don't know what was going on with a $550k sale in July 07 and then another $635K sale in November of 07 ( I can't believe those are legit sales ). Now this tool lists his home for $875K to $925k!! Huh?

The listing is amazing. Here's the first sentence (and what a sentence it is).

WHY BUY A SHORT SALE OR A BANK REPO HOME THAT NEEDS LANDSCAPING , PAINT, CARPET , DOSENT HAVE A POOL , SPA, BUILT IN BBQ FOR THESE HOT RIVERSIDE SUMMER DAYS WHY COME HOME & THINK I WISH IT WAS ALREADY FIXED UP & DONE I'M RUNNING THIN ON CASH I WISH I HAD A POOL TO RELAX IN.

Ok Mr Realtard, here's why. Because those homes are $500K cheaper than yours!

Now on to one of the best things about this listing. There are 10 pictures of the home. Six of those are of the outside, three of them are of the front, one is the dog pen (yup, the dog pen!) and there are two of the pool. The remaining 4 are of the inside. In all four shots there is crap all over the place. 2 of the 4 pictures are of a pool table with crap on it and under it. There is one shot of an untidy kitchen and one shot of the back of the couch (of course with crap on it).

I don't understand what the point of this listing is. Most homes in that tract are listed around $130 s/f, with the low end REOs lising down near $100 s/f. This moron lists at $274 s/f (at his low end of the price range). This listing makes my head hurt......

Yes, check out the fully carpeted dog run!

Could ya maybe put some more crap on the counter? Love those builder grade cabinets too!

Ok, what is this picture supposed to show me other than that the laundry was just done and is now on the back of the couch.

Realtard of the Month

This is the worst listing I've seen in quite a while. 17097 Spring Canyon is up in Lake hills, Riverside. The home is a 3 bed, 2 bath home that is 3045 sq/ft. The home sold new last March for $676K. The Doofus owner and our Realtard of the month have combined their collective brainpower to conclude that $695k is the number that will get this home sold! The fact that 17080, nearly right across the street and the same floor plan is listed for $389K did not seem to matter for our braintrust.

Now, I think the realtard might have a clue since she obviously put very little effort into the listing. Here is what she had to say about the home.......

.............
.............

That's right, she had NOTHING to say, not a single word. And YES, those 4 lousy pictures are rotated 90 degrees. Oh, Renee did not put a lot of effort into this one, not much effort at all.

Here,s the actual Redfin listing, and below are the actual 4 pictures (still rotated 90 degrees)

Realtard of the week

When you want to list a home at a ridiculously high price, who do you call? Why not try this weeks "Realtard of the Week".

Cindy Matiran

Prudential California Realty

What has poor Cindy done to deserve this dubious honor?

I submit her latest listing into evidence your honor.

11306 Lakeport Dr, Riverside. This home is in the Riverwalk Development in Western Riverside. This home is 4281 sq/ft and has 5 bedrooms and 5 baths. Cindy lists the home for $849k AND IT'S AN REO! WTF is she thinking. There are several other homes in the same tract about the same size as this one for as much as 40% less!



This one For instance 11367 Pondhurst. This home is BIGGER at 4312 sq/ft. It has 4 beds and 4.5 baths and is listed for $499K. HELLO Cindy, that's $350k less than yours.... Oh, and this one is an REO also.



Then there is 11356 Pondhurst. This one is a model match of Cindy's listing but it's a short sale listed for $490k. That's $360k less than Cindy's



Finally there is 11373 Lakeport Dr. Another 4312 sq/ft, 5 bedroom, 4.5 bath home. This one is also an REO. It's not as cheap as the other 2 but it's still $180k less than our dullard Cindy's.



But wait, I would like the jury to read poor Cindy's listing before making there final judgment. It's a real gem!

"EXEDCUTIVE , 5 BEDROOMS 5 BATH HOME, MODEL PERFACT IN RIVERWALK GATED COMMUNITY NEXT TO FWY 91 & 15, THE LARGEST LOT IN A CUL-DE-SAC, WITH MOST UPGRADES, TILE ENTRY TO KITCHEN DINNING AND FAMILY RM, LRG OPEN KIT. W/ ISLAND, GRANITE, UPGRADED KIT. APPLIENCE, AND FLOORING, MASTER BEDROOM WITH EXTRA SITTING ROOM LRG LOFT, CUSTOM PAINT THROUT, UPGRADED FLOORING, BASEBOAEDS, DOUBLE DOOR ENTRY, ONE BEDROOM ONE BATH DOWN, LARGE FAMILY ROOM W/ FIREPACE. LUSH LANDESCAPING W/ LOTS OF FRUIT TREE, BUILT-IN B. B. Q. , FIRE PIT, AND MUCH MUCH MORE. MUST SEE !!!"

How many misspelled words do you count? Heck she starts off with the very first word, completely butchering it. Then of course we have the ALL CAPS, useless abbreviations and exclamation marks. My 9 year old spells better than this, can use better grammar, and can formulate a sentence. This makes my brain hurt....

Well, what say the Jury?

By the way, this is what Cindy has to say about herself on her website.

My service, experience and dedication provide motivated Sellers and Buyers with a clear marketing advantage. I know that the only way to succeed in real estate is to provide more service than you can get anywhere else. And you will get that kind of service when you work with me.

I will provide you with the personal service you deserve. Put my professional image, reputation, and business ethics to work for you.

Let's talk today! Call for a consultation.

Realtard of the week

This weeks winner is,

HILARY AYERS

FIRST TEAM SNS - DIAMOND BAR

She wins for this new listing in Norco ( I should cut her some slack as it is a new listing, but I'm having a bad night, so poor hilary gets it).

1536 Valley DR Norco, CA 92860, This is up in Bretton Gait and it is a 4488 sq/ft home on a 3049 sq/ft lot according to Hilary. This is obviously a mistake since these homes sit on 1/2 acre lots. This is her entire description, " BEATUIFUL HOME ON LARGE LOT. .. . TONS OF UPGRADES. A MUST SEE!" That's it, one sentence (or is it two?) and a fragment. One misspelling, all caps and an exclamation point. Large lot? well we know it is but it's listed as 3049 sq/ft. Must see huh, well how about a picture then. No pictures yet. This is one of the weekest listings I've seen for a $700k home.

Now on to the Price. This home was last purchased in Sept 05 for 1.2 million. Now it's listed for $699k. That's half a million dollars down the drain. rejunkie reports this is an REO that went back to the bank for $965k. So the bank is listing it $265k off what they are owed right off the bat.

Since there is no picture I screen grabbed the listing since you "MUST SEE!"

Realtard of the week

This weeks award goes to JAMES TUTTLE of C- 21 LOIS LAUER - REDLANDS for this spectacular listing in beautiful downtown Home gardens.

12760 Harlow AVE Riverside, CA 92503

'WOW' Just Reduced $60K! Better hurry over and take a look. Nice home in a quiet area of Riverside close to La Sierra University and Tyler Mall. Property has had some upgrades done. Large Loft area makes a nice family room or a fourth bedroom and there is a office with beautiful hardwood floors too. Owners need to move as soon as possible! With a large yard for out door entertaining, a 2 car garage, formal livingroom & diningroom a cozy fireplace make this 3 BR, 3 Bath, 2,230 sq. ft. a great investment and a nice place to call home! Close to new homes and a school . what more could you want. .. .

I just don't know where to start on this listing. The actual text is not too bad. But, "hurry over and take a look"? You better get a tetanus shot first. The carpet held together with tape in the living room is a nice touch, there also appears to be a patch on that bedroom wall. Many upgrades done? Well, you certainly missed them when you snapped the pics cuz that place is a freaking wreck. You also get a formal livingroom (what about the bride?) and a diningroom (sure hope he doesn't eat too much). A great investment.... yea, just like Enron or New Century was. What more could you want? Oh, where do I start.

Now for the Creme-de-la-creme, La piece de resistance. Check out the picture of the outside of the house.

Do you get the impression our realtard is trying to hide something?

JAMES TUTTLE,

This weeks delusional seller(s) award

This one even took me by surprise. It takes a lot of stupid pills to do what this guy just did.

8772 Gentle Wind, Corona, CA 92883. This is another home in the Retreat in South Corona. Built in 2005 it was purchased new for $725k. It's a big home, 3386 sq/ft, 5 bed/3 bath. From the pics it does not look like there was much, if any upgrades to the home and there has been little work done other than pouring a patio slab and plonking a hot tub on it. Our crack smoking home owner has listed this home for.............ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

Why not just list it for a quadrillion dollars. There's just as good a chance of getting that.


I know, there are a lot of overpriced homes. Why is this guy so deserved of the award? Well.....lemme tell ya.


You see exactly two houses away (one house between them) sits 8748 Gentle Wind DR, It's the exact same model as the crackheads above. However there is a whopping $410,100 difference in the price of the two homes. That's right it's only 59% of the price of 8772. You may think it's a fluke but no, there are two other homes nearby of similar size listed in the mid 600's.

Now to be fair there is another crackhead on this street (well several actually) that must share the award. Across the street and a few houses down is 8835 Gentle Wind. This home is slightly larger but only 4 bedrooms. It says its professionally landscaped but so far no pics. It also just listed today but for an amazing 1.1 Million.

So why does he have to share the award. Well, just like the first baffoon, the home two doors down ( 8859 GENTLE WIND DR) which as been for sale for 229 days is listed for $665k. that's only 60% of the price of 8835. That's $435k less. You can buy a lot of landscaping for $435k! (and it does need some).



I think we should call the Hazmat Squad. There is obviously a carbon monoxide leak somewhere on this street. Maybe one of the other houses is being used to cook meth or grow weed and the vapors are affecting the neighbors. What ever the reason I just cannot understand how you can list a home for those prices when you have the lower priced homes basically next door.

This award is for the homeowners and their agents. They deserve it!

Delusional seller of the year award

This home is the epitome of what is wrong with this market. It has a delusional seller asking a ridiculous price and it has been listed by illiterate Realtor that should have smacked the seller in the head when he heard his asking price.

The award for the most delusional seller in the IE goes to the guy trying to sell

5272 Dood ST, Mira Loma, CA 91752. Dood st... As in DOOD you are high if you think your house has gone up 544% since 1999.

This home almost qualifies as a real homes of genius award winner in addition to the delusional seller award. The home look like it was decorated as part of a haunted house or possibly a tacky 1960s theme restaurant. We can also give the Realtor (JAVIER ALVAREZ) an honorable mention for the ridiculous description. I've highlighted the spelling errors for your amusement.
"BEAUTIFULL RANCH STYLE HORSE PROPERTY WITH ANOTHER APN NUMBER ATTACH WITH THIS LISTING PRICE IT WILL WELCOME YOUR BUYERS TO A FORMAL LIVING & DINNING ROOMS LARGE KITCHEN WITH CUSTOMED TILED COUNTER TOPS, SPACIOUS MASTER BEDROOM WITH FILIGREE CARVED WOOD ENTRANCE DOOR, FULL BATHROOM AND WALKING CLOSET. 2 MORE BEDROOMS AND A SEND FULL BATHROM. THIS LOVELY HOME WILL ACCOMODATE YOUR GUESS IN A PRIVATE ENTRANCE TO A ONE BEDROOM FULL BATHROOM LIVING ROOM WITH A FIRE PLACE, IT ALSO HAS A NICE POOL AND A CAPILLA. THERE ARE 3 HOUSE BARNS STABLES"

All Caps, a multitude of spelling and grammatical errors and then there are the colorful exaggerations. Beautiful ranch style? What part exactly is beautiful? This lovely house will accommodate my GUESS (I guess I have no idea what he is talking about). What the hell is a "3 house barns stables"? I assume he means that there are two units and a barn but then again I don't speak realtor. That sure is a nice pool too, with its au naturale green water.



This guy picked up this gem in 1999 for $146k. Now, 8 years later he thinks this POS has gone up a whopping 544%. That works out to $81K per year. Who needs to work when your house is earning $81k per year? I would not even offer $146k for this thing today. It's a gaudy mess in a terrible area that is polluted by the Stringfellow acid pits. Not only do you have to fear for your life but your kids might grow another set of limbs. If none of that matters to you then you can pick up this little piece of heaven for $795k.

Realtard of the week

This week's Realtard of te week goes to Gail Copley of Evergreen Realty for the listing at

22997 Banbury CTMurrieta, CA 92562. This home is a nice 3700/sf 3 bedroom, 3.5 bath sitting on the 11th tee of Bear Creek Country club. Sales Price $1,029,000

Here's the listing description,

"Price reduced $100,000. This is the best deal in Bear Creek! Beautiful S. Story on 11th tee. Great lake , fairway and mnt. views. 3 fireplaces, sitting rm. in master, casita, custom cabinets, covered patio w/ viking bbq, refr. . Beautiful landscaping with many trees, fountains, firepit and more. Complete sprinkler and outdoor lighting systems. Over 30 trees, block walls, and a lot of grassy areas. Rear yard faces west."

Now most of this is not that bad by Realtor standards. But there are a few obvious realtardisms in there. Who else would abbreviate room (rm) or single (S). Commas, periods, slash marks and exclamation points galore. Caps in odd places. A lot of grassy areas..wtf, it's on a golf course, duh. But none of those are enough to qualify as realtard of the week. The line that clinches her the title is the second one "the best deal in Bear Creek!"

The "Best deal in Bear Creek"? really. So how far do we have to look to find a better deal?
Well, how about RIGHT NEXT DOOR!

22991 Banbury CT, Murrieta, CA 92562 This home is 3667/sf, 4 bedroom and 3.5 bath. From the pictures it looks to have a much nicer kitchen than home 1. It also sits on the 11th tee box of the golf course and the lot size is about the same. Listing Price, $699,000

I might have cut her some slack if this home had just come on the market but it's been listed for 3 months. It's been $300k less the whole time. Interestingly this home is actually priced quite well. Yes, it's expensive but it's a big house on a big lot on a private country club. It sold new in 2001 for $500k. At $700k that only works out to an annual increase of just under 6%. Slightly more than the typical rate of 4% but still within reason. This one's probably a steal if you can get it for $600k.

Realtard of the week award

The Realtard of the week award goes to....

Yolanda Sanchez of Olympia Realty, for this stunningly written but woefully inaccurate listing.

"Very beautiful turn-key property located in a very quiet neighborhood. Property has been well maintained and well kept. It has immaculate landscaping really shows pride of ownership. ."

Sounds pretty good right? I'm impressed that it's not in all caps, not an exclamation mark to be found and no misspellings. So why does poor Yolanda take todays award, well just look at the house.

Yup, that there is some immaculate landscaping!