Monday, February 18, 2008

Realtard of the week

When you want to list a home at a ridiculously high price, who do you call? Why not try this weeks "Realtard of the Week".

Cindy Matiran
Prudential California Realty

What has poor Cindy done to deserve this dubious honor?

I submit her latest listing into evidence your honor.

11306 Lakeport Dr, Riverside. This home is in the Riverwalk Development in Western Riverside. This home is 4281 sq/ft and has 5 bedrooms and 5 baths. Cindy lists the home for $849k AND IT'S AN REO! WTF is she thinking. There are several other homes in the same tract about the same size as this one for as much as 40% less!



This one For instance 11367 Pondhurst. This home is BIGGER at 4312 sq/ft. It has 4 beds and 4.5 baths and is listed for $499K. HELLO Cindy, that's $350k less than yours.... Oh, and this one is an REO also.



Then there is 11356 Pondhurst. This one is a model match of Cindy's listing but it's a short sale listed for $490k. That's $360k less than Cindy's



Finally there is 11373 Lakeport Dr. Another 4312 sq/ft, 5 bedroom, 4.5 bath home. This one is also an REO. It's not as cheap as the other 2 but it's still $180k less than our dullard Cindy's.



But wait, I would like the jury to read poor Cindy's listing before making there final judgment. It's a real gem!

"EXEDCUTIVE , 5 BEDROOMS 5 BATH HOME, MODEL PERFACT IN RIVERWALK GATED COMMUNITY NEXT TO FWY 91 & 15, THE LARGEST LOT IN A CUL-DE-SAC, WITH MOST UPGRADES, TILE ENTRY TO KITCHEN DINNING AND FAMILY RM, LRG OPEN KIT. W/ ISLAND, GRANITE, UPGRADED KIT. APPLIENCE, AND FLOORING, MASTER BEDROOM WITH EXTRA SITTING ROOM LRG LOFT, CUSTOM PAINT THROUT, UPGRADED FLOORING, BASEBOAEDS, DOUBLE DOOR ENTRY, ONE BEDROOM ONE BATH DOWN, LARGE FAMILY ROOM W/ FIREPACE. LUSH LANDESCAPING W/ LOTS OF FRUIT TREE, BUILT-IN B. B. Q. , FIRE PIT, AND MUCH MUCH MORE. MUST SEE !!!"

How many misspelled words do you count? Heck she starts off with the very first word, completely butchering it. Then of course we have the ALL CAPS, useless abbreviations and exclamation marks. My 9 year old spells better than this, can use better grammar, and can formulate a sentence. This makes my brain hurt....

Well, what say the Jury?

By the way, this is what Cindy has to say about herself on her website.

My service, experience and dedication provide motivated Sellers and Buyers with a clear marketing advantage. I know that the only way to succeed in real estate is to provide more service than you can get anywhere else. And you will get that kind of service when you work with me.

I will provide you with the personal service you deserve. Put my professional image, reputation, and business ethics to work for you.

Let's talk today! Call for a consultation.




16 comments:

CPP said...

I can do better than that...

Check out this one for a Real Realtard...certified ass-clown grade.

I've been watching condos in this area for 5-6 months now, as it is literally steps away from my work. I've been waiting for the prices to fall back to reality, like many other blog readers. However, I felt compelled to share what I think is the all-time award winning listing for Realtard desperation...

http://www.redfin.com/stingray/do/printable-listing?listing-id=1453438

"* * * * Sales is Subject to Lender Final Short Pay Approval of Term Conditions? Fees * * * * Present offer w/ Direct Lender Underwriter Credit Approval, "Not" Loan Broker Pre-Qual Letter (Otherwise Provide Buyer's Loan Info ""Just"" To Be Pre-Qualified By Seller's Choice of Lender) * * * * Bring Offer & Work As A Team & Close Deal * * * * Listing Agent has Sufficient Knowledge on Short Sale####to show? Or send offer, make sure call Monica 909-459-9797, "instead" listing office (pls, honor this special request!!)"

After you stop laughing, check out the "price leader" for the same floorplan that can't get a buyer for 6 months...60k cheaper...

http://www.redfin.com/stingray/do/printable-listing?listing-id=1148609

And, not to be outdone, here's a slightly smaller floorplan that is $130k cheaper, also that can't sell for almost 3 months...

http://www.redfin.com/stingray/do/listings-search#residential=true&condo=true&lat=34.03692871677015&long=-117.68579363822938&zoomLevel=17&market=socal

MP said...

I will not excuse the grammar or spelling, but don't beat the realtor up for a REO pricing...the first listing for a REO isn't the realtor's price. In this market realtors take REOs because that's what might sell...but banks are clearly as retarded as owners when it comes to pricing a property. Now, how she markets the property...

Anonymous said...

The price is beyond insane and I cannot understand why a bank would list a property in such a way. I must assume the Realtard came up with that price. The listing description is juvenile. If an educated adult, (and self proffessed "professional") wrote that, they should be ashamed. The errors are glaringly obvious. Most unprofessional! (look, only one exclamation point Cindy)

golfer_X said...

I'm sure the bank sets the listing price BUT, the realtor should be able to convince them to list at a price that has some hope of selling. This listing is $360k more than a comparable REO listing just around the corner. We are not talking $10k or even $50k that is a 42% difference.

Briar said...

At least she doesn't claim to have been an English major.

ice weasel said...

There's no arguing about it, realtors are, by and large, the most unprofessional, sloppy and lazy people in business. I defy anyone to name a professional group with less overall qualifications and poorer documented performance. Time and time after I see listings with in accurate, untrue or just stupid information in them. There's no excuse.

I know there are exceptions to the rule but overall, giving your trust to a realtor much less allowing them to skim off money off your sale or purchase is about the most stupid thing a seller/buyer can do.

JETHRO said...

THADTS FUNNEY AS HECK. I KANT SPEL IITHER BUT I DROPD OUT OD SKOOL IN THE THURD GRADE. IV BIN WORKIN AT THE KWIK-E-MART BUT I MITE SEE IF I CAN GET MY REEL ESTATE LISENSE. I THOWT YOU NEEDED MORE EDJUMACATION BIT IT LOOKS LIKE I SHULD BE JUST FINE.

JETHRO

BrianH said...

Awesome one!

You could fill an entire blog just by calling out the idiot realtors out there.

golfer_X said...

nice idea, unfortunately it's already taken.

http://realestaterecord.blogspot.com/

Briar said...

I don't mean to bust any bubbles (no pun intended!), but I've worked in higher education most of my adult life and there have been only a handful of students I would have been willing to hire to work for me.

For twelve years I taught undergraduates, and I can think of maybe 15 I would have been willing to take a chance on. For the last seven years I've worked with law students, and I can probably think of another fifteen or so I would take a chance on.

Unfortunately, I'm sure the professors I had in the 70s would have said the same thing about my generation.

The unfortunate truth is that only a small percentage of people seem to operate with all cylinders going all the time. And a great many of those who don't seem to end up in the "professions" with low entry standards, e.g., real estate.

[Personal rant: No one wants to read anymore, and because they don't read, they don't learn to write well. It's driving me nuts! Please, if you're a parent, find a way to make your children enjoy reading. Read to them when they're little; let them see you reading things for enjoyment; find them books about things you know they like so they're equate reading with fun. And for God's sake, teach them how to use an index! /rant]

Anonymous said...

What will be even funnier if she does find some sap to buy it at that Price(Doubt it), but say an offer of 100k less gets accepted, good luck on getting an appraisel to even fund the loan. Her clients are going to love her and give her a big hug(Or slug)all the while the property will eventually go into forclosure in the meantime...

Anonymous said...

That property has already been foreclosed. It's the bank that she is trying to get the $850k for...

Hummer14 said...

Thats a great link you posted Golfer

golfer_X said...

Yea, the blogosphere never fails to entertain...

unahouser said...

While it is funny that this realtard or whomever her assistant is that cannot spell. I would be careful in putting her picture on the internet and calling her "realtard." Just because in our litigious society, when her business gets slower she might look for someone to blame. You defamed her name in public, in turn causing her to lose business.

Anonymous said...

It's her listing. She is responsible for spell checking it. someone pointing out that she is a dope for placing such garbage on a public listing is hardly grounds for litigation.

here is the legal definition of Slander. SLANDER - A false defamation (expressed in spoken words, signs, or gestures) which injures the character or reputation of the person defamed. Nothing false there, all fact!