What language do realtors speak?

What language do Realtors speak? You would think most of them would at least try to write their listings in English. I know you don't need a 4 year degree to be a Realtor but for crying out loud a basic course in writing might be in order. I've read so many unbelievably bad listings in the last few months I'm beginning to think they are letting their pre-schoolers write them.

Notes to Realtors

1) Please for the love of god DO NOT USE ALL CAPS in your descriptions.
2) Don't Capitalize Each Word!
3) Use the friggin spell checker. If need be, write your listings in Word and then paste them in after you run the spell checker.
4) Just because there is a granite counter, that does not make it a "gourmet kitchen".
5) Enough with the !!!! and ****
6) I'm sure we are all aware by now that nothing "Will Go Fast", so give that one a rest till the next bubble.
7) Skip the minutia, you don't need to tell me about the ceiling fan or painted garage floor.
8) Stop the unnecessary verbiage. For example, all fireplaces should be considered cozy.
9) Tell me about the house. 6 words about the house and 2 paragraphs about the nearby parks and golf courses is not helping your cause.
10) Did I mention about not using ALL CAPS.

Here is a perfect example of what not to do.

MLS #K07133984

Remarks: AWESOME SINGLE STORY HOME IN EAGLE GLEN GOLF COURS COMMUNITY, $45000 IN RECENT REMODELING, LRG KIT. W/LRG ISLAND, NEW GRANET COUNTER TOP & NEW SINKS IN KIT. & BATHS, NEW STAINLESS STEEL APPL. W/ 5 YEARS TRANSFERABLE WARRENTY ON ALL APPL. NEW PAINT, NEW HARD WOOD FLOOR LOOKS TILE, NEW CARPET, 6" CROWN MOLDING, CUSTOM BASEBOARDS, PRIVAT BACKYARD W/ MOUNTAINVIEW, AND LRG PATIO COVER, STAMPS CONCRET, CUSTOM B.B.Q. W/SINK & REFRIGERATOR. GARAGE W/ NEW APOXY FLOOR, NEW WALL TO WALL CABINET AND WORK AREA,. WALKS TO WILLSON ELEM. TO GOLF, EXCELLENT SHOPPING, "DOS LAGOS" AND "THE CROSSING" JUST DOWN THE HILL . THIS HOUSE IS A MUST SEE!!!